Canadian Quotations

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I am told, and have seen pictures, that he would play poker. I don’t know if he’s any good at the game. ~ Lawyer representing Alberta multimillionaire who is suing fish and wildlife officials for wrongly seizing poker-playing monkey, Tarzan.

C anada has no identity and never has had an identity. Any sense of identity we have is our sense of density. ~ Marshall McLuhan

W here Canadians got the monotone that you’re listening to now I don’t know – probably from the Canada goose. ~ Northrup Frye,

C anada is not really a place where you are encouraged to have large spiritual adventures. ~ Robertson Davies, Canadian author

I t is well to remember that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. ~ John Andrew Holmes

T he parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say “Willie is no good; I’ll sell him.” ~ Stephen Leacock

I acted on the information I have been accumulating since I was three years old. ~ Pierre Trudeau, former Canadian Prime Minister

S hame! It’s more than a shame. ‘Snoutrage’! ~ (on a newspaper’s statement that it was a shame to discuss Sir John A. MacDonald’s nose) ~ J. R. Cameron, Editor

T here was a valid distinction between an offensive and a defensive weapon; if you were in front of it,
it was offensive; if you were behind it, it was defensive. ~ Lester Pearson, former Canadian Prime Minister

A highbrow is a person who can listen to the “William Tell Overture” without thinking of the lone Ranger. ~ Al Boliska

A stronomy is terrifying. It describes a hell in which we seem to be the only inhabitants. ~ Louis Dudek, Canadian poet

I think that learned counsel is abusing the privilege of being stupid. ~ Sir James Lougheed, Canadian politician

I n a moment the pirates were all around us, rolling their eyes, gnashing their teeth, and filing their nails. ~ Stephen B. Leacock

T hose who would understand how monstrous the Crucifixion was should stub a toe during Holy Week. ~ Harry Bruce

A nd if I can be permitted to turn a phrase, I would say that I’m kind of sorry I won’t have you to kick around anymore. ~ Pierre Trudeau, former Canadian Prime Minister, to reporters, on retiring.

F aced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. ~ J. K. Galbraith, Canadian/American economist

L ord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions. ~ Stephen B. Leacock, Canadian humorist

L ife is a horror movie, starring people you know. ~ Richard J. Needham, columnist

A nybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds
of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects. ~ Stephen B. Leacock, Canadian humorist

A St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is just a word until you have one. ~ Max Ferguson

I do wish I could just slip off my flesh and sit in my bones for a space, to cool myself. ~ T. C. Haliburton

A midst all the sound and fury, I don’t expect right to prevail; I don’t expect wrong to prevail, either;
I just expect the sound and fury to prevail. ~ Richard J. Needham,columnist

G od made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do. ~ C. F. Lloyd, Canadian writer

I f you have anything to tell me of importance, for God’s sake begin at the end. ~ Sara Jeanette Duncan

I t was on Saturday night that the Scotch gathered at the McIntyre House to make merry and seek one another’s destruction. ~ J. K. Galbraith

W herever I travel I’m too late. The orgy has moved elsewhere. ~ Mordecai Richler, Canadian novelist

M en who are attractive to most women are rarities, in this country, at any rate. I think that it is because a man,
to be attractive, must be free to give his whole time to it, and the Canadian male is so hounded by taxes and the
rigors of our climate that he is lucky to be alive, without being irresistible as well. ~ Robertson Davies, Canadian author

O kay, Dumbo, you can start. ~ Toronto lawyer Vern Balaban,on advising a fellow lawyer it was all right to begin his cross-examination.

W e don’t know who should win, but they should win faster than this. ~ Ottawa Citizen editorial, March 26, 2003. (After 20 years of getting to Supreme Court, five animal control officers won a famous victory – the court said their lawsuit could continue.)